Posted by: johnthelibertine | February 3, 2010

Serious gaming simulations in f@*king big companies

Hi there seriously virtual imersive game worlders. Many apologies for going..erm…offline for several months…but then again, you try writing blog posts from the after world. It’s not easy being productive when you are dead!

Anyway……in a rare interview with someone who actually does something for a living, Serious Sauce hooked up with veteran serious learning games developer Ayto Zedd of A2Z Learning.

A2Z have an excellent relationship with lots of f@*king big companies in the Americas, Europe and the Teeny Tiny Tax-Free Islands where it is always hot and everybody is very rich or very not. They have worked with more than eleven big f@8king companies in the financial self-servicing, drug-dealing, multifactoring, remanufacturing and fat processing industries and are renouned for E-learning solutions that work inside the challenging technology environments of big f@*king companies.

A2Z saved fOFF Reech 400 of these with their game-like learning solutions

A2Z have recently launched their new seriously virtual eGames design suite (available on the interweb for £8027 from last week) which promises to bring a revolutionary level of laziness to ingamestructional designers (ID’s) and allow them to quickly create games-based simugamey content that actually works in big f@*king companies.

We asked Mr Zedd what the major barriers were in big f@*king companies with respect to adopting immersively virtual gameyworlds for their learning programmes. Here is what he told us:

The challenges of working with big f@*king companies are both technical and human related…and organisationally related….and financial in nature. We know many companies in this space that have tried to bring their technically-elegant, extremely well-designed, stunningly engaging and incredibly effective solutions to big f@*king companies and have wondered why they don’t work“, he said.

At the end of the day, you have to look through the eyes under the pulse of the skin in the shoes of a typical big f@*king company learning person and see the world from their cubicle. Basically they get shafted if they screw up so they don’t like to take risks.”

So, we asked, how do you deliver virtually game-like learning solutions in big f@*king companies? Whilst simultaneously slipping The Libertine a wad of  fresh George Washingtons, Mr Zedd provided the answer: “The A2Z virtual eGames design suite“, and The Libertine agreed.

But putting aside the fact the Zedd bribed us with enough cash to have a whole night of illegal fun in the dark alleys of Olde London Town, we still felt compelled to ask for some semblance of evidence to support such a brash claim.  Without further ado, Mr Zedd then whipped out a SCORM-compatible piece of white paper with many words on it in a Section 508-compliant typeface.

Here is what the words said:

A2Z, the world’s leading virtual eGamey immersive solutions company recently deployed a cutting-edge virtual eGamey immersive solution for fOFF Reech Investment Bank. The client’s requirements were to provide company training to 88,000 people who make lots of real money by using money that doesn’t really exist to buy and sell options to buy stuff that nobody has made yet that is secured against some old outhouses in Jalopy, Indiana (population 9).

We make several $billion of trades a day so you can imagine that we take complacency training very seriously, a Complacent Officer at fOFF Reech commented. We were willing to spend 10 cents per employee giving A2Z a hefty budget of $8,800 but this was only approved by the Executive VP of Complacency on the promise of an ROI of 2700%. If A2Z failed in this endeavour then we would face a penalty clause that included excommunication and the slaughter of our spouses.

“It was made clear to us in the kick-off meeting that the client needed a minimum of 99.5% of the traders to be able to complete the gamey solution in less than 30 seconds with 100% marks and they wanted a guarentee that they were fully-compliant so that the bank couldn’t face any law suites by Democrat sympathizing lawyers acting for poor people” said Mr Zedd. “Obviously that was quite a challenge they set us but that is exactly why we created the virtual eGames design suite”.

Here is what the virtual eGames design suite enabled:

  • A “here is what you will learn screen” (XML-driven text)
  • A login screen (8 bit security employed)
  • An automatic pre-training quiz completion feature
  • An automatically moving avatar (with pre-selected diverse faces)
  • An Auto-decision making facility
  • An automatically enabling completion button
  • An automatically enabling ‘are you sure you have completed?’ completion button
  • An automatic post-training quiz completion feature
  • A score screen that uses advanced AI to post a score of 100%
  • Optimised for 500×400, 16 color resolution
  • SCORM 1.2/04 compliance
  • HTML 3.2

And the result? “fOFF Reech were ecstatic.  Where the previous training solution had taken a painfully laborious and very expensive 30 seconds to complete on average, with the A2Z solution each trader now needed to commit no more than 5 seconds of their precious time to the training piece yet always scored 100%.

Furthermore, fOFF Reech used the Captain Kirk-Phillips assessment technique to determine that once all 88,000 traders had completed the training, the savings would exceed $400million, enough, we are told, to pay for all the high-class call girls the company employs each year to entertain it’s top clients.

The Sauce hopes that this case study helps your organisation work with big f@*king companies and that you too buy an annual license to virtual eGames design suite from the wonderful people people at A2Z by clicking here.

Me, John Wilmot

John The Libertine, February 2010


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